I will never get sick of this gem of a film.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
First One
I love creating a blog only for myself. It is cyber-soliloquy.
I recently became heart broken. At first, like a fool, I was oddly excited; as though I was relieved to understand. Maybe that's not a bad thing. I thought maybe he was lost and needed to find himself. He is, this is truth. However, I thought that maybe he had finally come to conclude that he loved me but was afraid of change, and therefore couldn't let go of her, and that's why he kissed me the first night we met up after a break where I refused to speak to him. He wouldn't take me in his arms.
I cried in front of him a week later, out of surrender. I can't wait any longer. 2 years was long enough being his friend, his silent weeper. Then we went to a party; I agreed on it, I wanted to give it a try because I never go to parties, they are simply too much. I did it to make him happy. The people there were strangers in every way, except for Tena. I knew he wanted to attend the party so he could see her, now that he wasn't bound to someone else. I suddenly felt like the stranger.
I begged to break connection but continuously crossed paths with him-coincidentally. He spoke to her the day he kissed me. He also doesn't love me nearly as much as I do him, and it's a lost cause. 2 years of a lost cause. And yet I'd still probably give him half of my blood supply, even if he took it left with nothing to give.
But at least I understand, right?
I recently became heart broken. At first, like a fool, I was oddly excited; as though I was relieved to understand. Maybe that's not a bad thing. I thought maybe he was lost and needed to find himself. He is, this is truth. However, I thought that maybe he had finally come to conclude that he loved me but was afraid of change, and therefore couldn't let go of her, and that's why he kissed me the first night we met up after a break where I refused to speak to him. He wouldn't take me in his arms.
I cried in front of him a week later, out of surrender. I can't wait any longer. 2 years was long enough being his friend, his silent weeper. Then we went to a party; I agreed on it, I wanted to give it a try because I never go to parties, they are simply too much. I did it to make him happy. The people there were strangers in every way, except for Tena. I knew he wanted to attend the party so he could see her, now that he wasn't bound to someone else. I suddenly felt like the stranger.
I begged to break connection but continuously crossed paths with him-coincidentally. He spoke to her the day he kissed me. He also doesn't love me nearly as much as I do him, and it's a lost cause. 2 years of a lost cause. And yet I'd still probably give him half of my blood supply, even if he took it left with nothing to give.
But at least I understand, right?
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